This dog is in a heat-induced coma in front of 7-11.

This article states that the Royal Rain unit has been dousing the up-country regions in water to alleviate the extreme haze and dangerous levels of pollution. Personally, I don’t think it made a dent. The pm2.5 AQI (air quality index) was 251! Acceptable AQI is 50.

Unfortunately, after one-and-a-half months of sucking in smoky, toxic air, experiencing stinging eyes and raw throat and lungs, I made an appointment with a doctor. She diagnosed me with “acute laryngitis and bronchitis”. The doctor prescribed the usual allopathic treatment for cough: antihistamine, GERD medicine, and cough suppressants. I also went to an acupuncturist and herbalist in Chiang Mai. The acupuncturist sent me home with a Chinese herbal formula. After only one day, I noticed a reduced urge to cough and a soothing sensation to my throat and lungs. Yeah Chinese medicine!

Not-Yeah: Taking the bus back to Phrao and seeing smoke billowing from the mountains. Sitting for meditation that evening felt like sitting in the middle of a barbeque pit.

It’s Hot in Here

When the dog sleeps in the bathroom, it’s hot.

It is the middle of the hot season in Thailand. The seasons, like the cuisine, veer into extremes. Where the hallmarks of Thai cuisine careen from very sour to very sweet to very spicy, the weather also follows suit. Right now, you could say we are in the spice—burning in the fires of hot chilies. The mercury regularly registers 105 Fahrenheit with no air conditioning. To add insult to injury, nearly once a day the power gets cut off for hours a day, which means no fan!

This happened one day during my English class, but I continued and didn’t cancel the lesson. My students—brothers A, B, and C—didn’t let out a peep of complaint. The eldest—A—merely wiped his brow with his shirt. C’s sweat dripped onto his worksheet, but they all kept studying!

To give some context: It’s been so hot that the battery in my phone swelled up like a whale!  It literally was busting out of the case!

B and C take their cues from A

Another day, they were playing games on the computer, which is not allowed. They are allowed after lunch. I approached them and said, “You can’t play games right now—turn off the computers.” And you know what happened? They turned off the computers! No arguing, talking back, giving me attitude or trying to retaliate later in English class. Incredibly, A and C selected a book from the shelf and began reading it together!

A Village Teacher

Every day before class, I manually sharpen pencils for my students.

Low Cholesterol Please

The canteen here serves food that would make my MD put me on statins right away. From fatty beef, fatty pork, to deep fried chicken and yes—even deep fried egg yolks! I pleaded my case to Evelind to tell the kitchen I only wanted chicken and lightly sautéed vegetables. They served me egg-fried rice with a side of two fried eggs and no vegetables—cholesterol hell. Thus, I am now catering my own meals: chicken salad with a cup of oatmeal

A village student

One day in the middle of my class, a baby appeared dangling in the curtains. Curtains hang in front of the doors to let the breeze in, and someone shoved the baby through the curtains. My student, A, immediately got up and sat the baby on his lap where she remained for the rest of the lesson. Trying to memorize present continuous while placating a baby and he’s all of eleven years old.

My students ranged in age from five-to-seventeen years old.

Individual work.

Group work.

An Office Upgrade…?

I moved out of the Volunteer’s Office, aka Cat Headquarters because:

1) I am allergic to cats.

2) Cats chewed on my power cords. 

3) Cat feces.

(Did I ever tell anyone that I’m a dog person?)

Anyhow, I moved to the library, which is also hosts my English classes. It is also the computer lab, where all the kids congregate at 12pm sharp. It sounds like a Thai night club because the video game soundtracks all loop the latest club hits.

My student-gamers.

Official notice: No More Punching Penises

Ok, that’s not what it says literally. It says, “No hitting or slapping other students.” I had to institute formal classroom rules because with the influx of more students, there has been a noticeable dip in behavior and an increase in rowdiness. Brothers A, B, and C routinely hit one another, with C receiving the brunt of it. However, they also began to punch one another in the penis. Honestly, I was speechless with C doubled-over and moaning in front of me. This is a world totally unknown to me—it must be a boy-thing because I can say for certain that never did my girlfriends and I ever punch one other in the genitals. Never.

Additionally, I had to institute this rule because one day A hit C really hard (I didn’t see it) and C was crying. I had a staff member type it up in Thai and come in and explain all the rules in Thai.

Village Teacher, Weekend Kawaii-er

On the weekends, I take a two hour bus ride to Chiang Mai where I study and read the paper in elegant cafés—with air conditioning! I admit to relishing the ambiance and for once, not being covered in red dirt. I also make the rounds to the Japanese stores—four in one mall!—and pretend I live in a world of tissues neatly rolled into containers, fuchsia shoe covers, and coordinated mini waste-bin-bento-box-paper-clip-box set.

Doggie powder-duster! Just “dab-dab” and voila! Your doggie no longer has that embarrassing shiny nose

Uh-oh, my kawaii-socked-foot is posing with kawaii-slippers